NLP Agreement Frame
NLP agreement frame is the best way to redirect another person’s argumentative energy to something positive rather than trying to overcome it.
NLP agreement frame is your best tool while facing resistance, with people of bully nature and in negotiations setting.
What is an agreement frame in NLP?
NLP agreement frame in NLP is part of pacing and leading techniques, where you redirect another person’s argumentative energy to your advantage.
In short, NLP agreement frame teaches us to use “Yes, and.” instead of “Yes, but.”
People feel dejected when they hear the words “but,” while, “and” helps to continue the statement and make positive changes.
As we know from NLP presuppositions, everyone creates their different maps based on their preferable internal representation.
When it comes to expressing our map or viewpoint with others, it sometimes creates conflict. If not managed carefully.
In negotiations or any other setup where two parties find it difficult to agree, you can use the NLP agreement frame.
I have observed when I disagree with someone, and I use the word “but,” which has a completely negative effect on the other person.
Whenever we use, but in an argument or statement, the rest of the statement gets associated with negative feelings.
As another person feels their version of the story has been rejected, “their truth has been challenged.”
How to use the NLP Agreement frame?
I suggest if we want to express our disagreement with another person, we use the words “and” instead of “but.”
When we use “and” instead of “but,” we acknowledge the right of another person to have different points of view. We also give options to think about instead of countering the idea and getting into arguments.
Observe this, whenever someone uses the word “but,” we do not positively follow the rest of the statement. On the contrary, people feel hurt when they are countered or opposed to what they feel is true.
Here are a few of the NLP agreement frame examples.
I agree… and
I respect your view …. And also….
If you actually agree with another person’s point of view and have something more helpful to add to it. You can use an NLP agreement frame like this…
“I agree with you completely, and how about considering other variations as well like…….”
If you find something said by another person you respect even though you may not agree with it completely, You can use an NLP agreement frame like this….
“I respect your view in saying this quite frankly, and you may want to know more about the ……
Sometimes it may happen that there will be nothing to agree with or respect. In this case, you can just acknowledge another person’s point of view. You can use an NLP agreement frame like this…
“I appreciate your enthusiasm and grip over this subject, and I am sure you want to know my perspective about this….”
You can also use the NLP agreement frame to avoid conflict and win negotiations in your personal life. For example, you can use the following NLP agreement frame.
- Thank you
- Yes, You are right
- I appreciate your opinion about
Let’s just assume someone has made some negative remarks on your shirt.
You can revert as
- Thank you for your time in observing my dressing sense.
- Yes, you are right; I am glad someone finally noticed and told me off.
- I appreciate your opinion about my shirt and expect you may tell me about my shoe as well.
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What not to do while using the NLP agreement frame?
While using NLP, agreement frames do not use words like but or yet.
These words negate what the other person has just said. Once you use these words, they will get negative and may not even listen, or at worst, argue with you.
Do not use the “I understand.” phrase also. Every person understands differently and can be argued over. However, none can challenge what you agree, appreciate and respect.
NLP agreement frame is extremely useful in negotiations, bully environment, and corporate communications.
I have used an agreement frame in my office while running meetings and discussing senior management discussions.
One more thing to remember, you must practice rapport building first to succeed in NLP agreement frame. Sometimes, people notice you are redirecting their sentences, and they are not very happy or open about it.
If you want to know more, read my post on NLP frames and reframing.