NLP reframing – 2 reframing techniques for best result at any conflict
NLP reframing is one of the most fundamental methods of getting change or changing perspective about almost anything.
NLP reframing techniques can be used to change behavior, focus on real problems, or identify hidden resources.
NLP reframing is the technique that changes the way we perceive the event, and it changes the meaning for us. Once the meaning is changed, our response and behavior to the event also change.
Types of NLP reframing techniques.
There are two types of NLP reframing techniques.
- Context reframing
- Content reframing
Context reframing works on comparing the generalizations, while content reframing works on changing our response to the event.
Let’s understand both of the NLP reframing techniques in detail.
NLP Context Reframing
In simple words, When a person deletes the context while communicating, that puts behavior in context.
You can identify these statements as “I am too” or “that person is too.”
“I am too obsessed with small details.”
“XYZ is too shy to speak.”
Well, I can not be too obsessed with small details in all contexts, right?
Let’s see the process of the NLP context reframing technique.
Step 1- Identify a resourceful state.
You can choose any behavior, state, event, belief, or some other aspect of yourself that can be useful for context reframing.
You can choose the event where you felt most confident about yourself or when you felt you have all the resources you need.
Step 2- Ask Context questions.
Ask yourself that where this aspect would be useful?
Imagine the event where this behavior or the expressions will serve you most positively.
Step 3 – Imagine yourself expressing this aspect in the most appropriate context.
You can take a deep breath and think of the future event to use this aspect positively and to your advantage.
Step 4 – Select the variety of context for this aspect
You can select various contexts for this aspect; you can try and apply each of them to this aspect.
You can later see which one can most useful to you in the future.
For example, Can you use the negotiation frame for the relationship aspect? What will be good and the bad?
You can do this in as much as the context you can think of.
Step 5 – Test
Ask yourself the following questions after changing the context.
Are you more flexible with choices now?
Are you more creative at problem solving now?
Can you think of an event where you can use this in your day-to-day use?
NLP Content Reframing
The NLP content reframing technique can be useful where we see our behavior to the event as a mistake or a disadvantage.
NLP Content reframing is used when we do not like our response to the event or our behavior in general.
The NLP content reframing is useful when we want to change our perception of anything that could be judged as negative or positive.
Here is the brief NLP Content reframing technique process we can use.
Step 1 – Select the behavior to work on
Select the pattern of behavior to work on, try to select the pattern which occurs regularly.
Step 2 – Identify the parts involved.
I have written a detailed post on NLP parts integration. You can refer to that to understand what is parts in NLP?
Note the part that is involved in this behavior. Imagine what part of you produces this behavior from you?
Give a name to that part.
Step 3 – Find positive intention.
Every behavior has a positive intention; find the positive intention of yours for this type of behavior.
Step 4 – Identify the frame.
What frame is around the intention and behavior?
To identify the frame, observe the presuppositions and generalizations you have while thinking of this behavior or the event.
Step 5 – Defame the part.
You can ask yourself what else this could mean to me?
Here expand the perspective of yours about this event or behavior.
You can also ask what this behavior and intention mean to you, see for the modalities and submodalities involved.
Step 6 – Reframe the behavior and the intention.
Find the way that enables you to revert to this part, behavior, or intent positively. The reaction can be slight also.
Step 7 – Reframe the usefulness in terms of the event.
Ask yourself how this behavior can actually be helpful in some other events?
The behavior may need to take a different form or may cease to exist.
Connect with this, how you can feel good about this part in another situation?
You can also find the underlying motivation for this behavior and can learn to use this motivation in other events.
Step 8 – Accept and integrate the reframe
Allow yourself to use this new reframe for other events or part in another situation.
As it highlights the positive aspect, you may find ways to connect with other situations.
Step 9- Test
At last, test the reframe, and think how do you feel now when you think of this behavior or event?
You must be feeling the change in your perspective, self-esteem, and less conflict with the event. If not, do the NLP content reframing technique one more time.
What would be better? If you find ways to utilize those underlying motivations to your advantage for other events.
NLP Context reframing and NLP Content reframing process stated above can be used in moderation almost at any aspects, parts, event and behavior.
NLP Reframing Questions
NLP reframing with language allows everyone to see the words differently, which changes the meaning. Once the meaning is changed, our behavior and response to the event also change.
NLP reframing question for NLP context reframing.
In what context will this behavior be helpful?
In what context this behavior be appropriate?
In any context, this behavior potentially serve me better?
In what way could this behavior be more resourceful?
Have this behavior helped me in the past?
NLP reframing question for NLP content reframing.
What is the positive intention of this event or behavior?
What else could this behavior really mean?
What is the purpose that they do this? Or I do this?
What can be useful about this experience?
Is there any other way I could interpret the meaning of the statement or mistake?
What could I learn from this event?
What I did well?
These are the sample questions you can use along with the process mentioned above.
Now let’s see some of the NLP reframing examples.
NLP reframing examples
I am sharing these NLP reframing examples from my practice and some of the books I have read on the same topic.
NLP reframing examples for NLP context reframing.
Put the behavior in the context, and what was once disadvantage becomes the resource.
“I am too stubborn.”
Reframe -“Well, you must be getting your point heard in those difficult meetings, or you must be good at negotiations.”
“I am not ruthless enough.”
Reframe ‘“You must be a very good father because of it.”
“I am too bossy.”
Reframe – “You must be best at driving meetings.”
NLP reframing examples for NLP content reframing.
For content reframe, take a look at the bigger picture and move your focus to other available resources.
“I feel bad when no one likes my posts on Facebook.”
Reframe – “ Do you think that allows you to think of better content, or you may need to engage more with them?”
“ I had to buy a small car.”
Reframe – “ Isn’t it great, and you will be able to save a great deal on fuel?”
NLP reframing can be used in therapy, coaching, and even in negotiations. Let me know where you are going to use these NLP Reframing techniques?